Because I just can't outrun my destiny...

I'd NEVER write my life story / autobiography -- You've to have mammoth courage to tell the truth -- When I look back: I've always been a nonconformist -- deviant -- It took me zillions of years to realize that something is intrinsically wrong with me since childhood -- It took me ages to become aware of my retardedness -- Migrating to a more liberal place wouldn't have changed anything -- Wouldn't have resolved anything -- Because I just can't outrun my destiny -- My schizoid personality is just the tip of the iceberg -- Deep down there're uncountable and uncorrectable psychiatric illnesses -- It's a miracle that I haven't been straitjacketed and put in a correctional facility or psychiatric care.

Touch the Sky with Glory...

Girls and guys: Watch this -- Get inspired -- Get into IAF. :-)

http://www.ndtv.com/video/player/walk-the-talk/walk-the-talk-the-men-who-fly-migs-aired-september-2003/288477?ndtv_rhs

 

An intelligent shower (system)...

Shower (system) should be intelligent -- should remember our preference(s). And, should be temperature / weather-wise / aware. Should have thermostatic device.

Girls and guys: Get this Lilliputian robot. :-)

 

Qu-Bot is a Quickly Programmable Robot. Qu-Bot is specially designed for beginners in robotics and for all kind of robotics enthusiasts, starting from small kids to adults. The Qu-Bot visual interface software allows the robot to be programmed easily and quickly.

 

http://robokits.co.in/shop/

A quest for El Dorado...

I strongly believe that the answers to our most perplexing questions -- the remedies for our ailments -- antidotes for our diseasedness lie in the solar system.

Robotization and supercomputing...

We'd continue to build robots and supercomputers. We'd explore galaxies. At least -- menial jobs should be assigned to humanoids.

Speech Recognition...

Speech Recognition in Windows 7 Home Premium is futuristic -- I'm hoarse from dictating the computer, though. :-)

I'm too old to monkey with a smartphone like BlackBerry Q10...

I'm too old to monkey with a smartphone like BlackBerry Q10 -- But I just can't stop toying with it -- It's no brain candy -- It's got a savage processor -- It's a real venomer -- But I'd be able to defang it -- They say: Weighing in at about three pounds, the human brain is the largest and most complex of any living primate -- Mind you, I'm schizophrenic. :-)

Airtel folks are pros...

Airtel folks are pros -- They gave me a Micro SIM in Microseconds! Thank you so much. Girls and guys: Do NOT dismember your SIM. Get a new Micro SIM. It's a cinch.  Simple process. No queue.
By the way: The AI Of my new BB Q10 is baffling me! Tsk, tsk! I'm braindead.

I believe that America is a peacemaker...

I believe that America is a peacemaker. And, sometimes you've to use minimal and necessary force / fire power to achieve your objectives. We're at war with trigger-happy people. We've no other option.

There's a shepherdling in all of us...

If you'd role-play and be a shepherd -- Sheepherding teaches you a lot about leadership. I think there's a shepherdling in all of us. Probably that's why -- Prophets were shepherds.

The missing link is awareness...

Our System works. We just have to tweak it a wee bit. The missing link is awareness. We've got laws -- We've got framework -- Public awareness -- That's the keyword -- We've to work on that.

For redemption...

I'd get some earthenware and start feeding pigeons and birds. That'd be cathartic. That'd be a sort of therapy. That'd give me solace. A medieval / rudimentary act -- for redemption. Wish I'd have a pet lamb. That's be dervish-like. That'd be holistic. Would keep my schizophrenia in check too.

You're a traitor, Mister Edward Snowden...

You just can't justify treasonableness. Mister Edward Snowden is so terribly wrong. If you think that something is WRONG then you fight against it in a RIGHT way. This is stark, naked and blatant traitorism. You're a traitor, Mister Edward Snowden. Period. Your warped theories could NEVER legitimatize the gigantic wrong you've done.

 

What's the cost of a soul?

#1 What's the cost of a soul?

#2 What's the cost of a bullet?

I'm a polygamist... ;-)

I'm a polygamist -- I've become one -- somehow -- And, it's NOT against Islamic law. Gotcha, didn't I? ;-) At least -- I don't have a harem -- By the way, doesn't that sound so Saudi Arabian eh? Exalted Sheik? You just can't make me sheepish about this! -- I've come up with a strong counter-argument!

Intelligence quotient...

I'm a schizophrenic person -- my intelligence quotient is zilch BUT I EXPECT remarkable intelligence from our young generation. I expect 'em to emulate the avant-gardism and the pioneering spirit of persons like -- for instance: Mister Bill Gates. They'd explore domains like astronautics, robotics, computing et cetera. They'd rise above stereotypical ideologies and shonky precepts. Nothing should dissuade 'em from being pathfinders. I expect nothing less than miracle from 'em. They'd bring about a biotechnological / technological revolution. For instance: An antidote for AIDS -- A vaccine for schizophrenia et cetera.

 

Keying in...

Real Indian Idol...

A real Indian Idol is a double amputee destitute -- who lives on the streets. 

A real Indian Idol is a visually impaired beggar. 

A real Indian Idol is a rickshaw puller. 

A real Indian Idol is a ragpicker. 

A real Indian Idol is a street sweeper. 

A real Indian Idol is a shoeshine boy. 

A real Indian Idol is a bullock cart driver.

 

And, so on ad infinitum.

 

We sit in our cozy air-conditioned rooms -- and watch Indian Idol on telly. We're ivory-towered -- armchair critics of our system. I'd like to ask you one thing: What're you doing for your community as a responsible adult?  There're killing fields out there -- people are dying everyday -- out of sheer poverty. We're morally responsible for these homicides. This'd be stopped -- IF -- we start doing something about it.

Could we role-play and work as manual scavengers?

Could we role-play and work as manual scavengers -- just for a day? For half-an-hour at least? Could we try role reversal for a while? Could we do manual scavenging? Your answer would be a resolute, big 'no' -- without any forethought. I think that our government is doing a fine job -- and it's overburdened. It's high time that we bootstrap -- and do something to uplift our oppressed people. We'd put an end to this grave injustice. We're incorrigible derelicts. We're not doing our moral duty. This is something terribly serious and unpardonable. We're shying away from our social responsibility. We'd try and be a wee bit social-minded. We're answerable to our God. We're answerable to our own conscience. We'd rebuke ourselves. What'd awake us from this slumber? From this dormancy? Why're we so comatose? Why're we so unjust and cruel to our own people?

 

Keying in...

RJ Prateeka: Miss spacewalker...

She's a lighthouse keeper
She's superachiever.

She'd be high IQ society member
Is she a marathoner.

She's a headliner -- she's in the newspaper
An inveterate strawberry milkshake drinker -- Is that a rumor.

It's in Metroplus -- I swear
I'm not a rumor-monger.

Stop being ancient -- Don't wait for the double-decker -- be a skate boarder
Life is all about being a reveller.

Go on gossiper -- We're no shushers
She's a life-saver.

Her workplace is out of James Cameron's Avatar
Do they also do air traffic control -- I'm awestruck Miss gadgeteer.

Looks like a space station or Kennedy Space Center
Where's your spacesuit -- Miss spacewalker.

She's a top-notcher
Chewing gum makes teeth healthier.

Decision-maker -- pathfinder -- careers adviser
A multifaceted broadcaster.

To be continued...

RJ Prateeka: A lighthouse keeper... :-)

Hmm--so it's that godfather's thriller
We'd take him out -- We'd ape / mirror Operation Neptune Spear.

Our Black Cats are matchless warriors
She'd read something like -- Kargil War: From Surprise to Victory -- by our high-ranking soldier.

My favorite is The Founts of Sinhala by Colin De Silva -- that's a superthriller
By the way, does she collect bookmarkers.

Could I quiz her about Ashoka emperor
Does she have a Macintosh personal computer.

She's a globetrotter
Has she read Mister Alvin Toffler.

Did she ever make use of a butterfly net to catch a grasshopper
She'd be a spycatcher.

She'd vroom around in a Land Cruiser
A cabin cruiser would be an eye-catcher.

Who's her favorite cricketer
Could tailenders be gamebreakers.

Who's her mentor
Has she read anything about aboriginal trackers.

She must've read The Steadfast Tin Soldier
Is she crazy about dreamcatchers.

To be continued...

Symbolic punishment...

'And according to Islamic law, a flogger is supposed to hold a copy of the Quran under his arm to curb his range of motion and ensure that the strokes are not too powerful.'

 

God doesn't punish you right away. God gives you the benefit of the doubt. We'd adapt / adopt this attribute of God. We'd exercise lenience.

RJ Prateeka: Miss Antarctic Explorer...

I've probably got multiple personality disorder
My memory is murkier.

Speed -- Distance -- Time -- Radius -- Peak Hour Factor 
Wish I were a mapmaker -- a navigator.

They say -- GPS operates best near the equator
Is she following the Google Science Fair.

Is her car equipped with a GPS receiver
Locating her igloo would've been easier.

Where's she heading -- Miss Antarctic explorer
Has she been spotted by a casting director.

In the ultimate analysis -- the tortoise is a winner
Go girl -- get your pocket calculator.

Is she a keen snapshooter
Has she ever tried a six-shooter.

Is Internet Explorer her default browser
What's it about -- this get-together.

Has she read the autobiography Of Adolf Hitler
What does she think of the Fuhrer.

Bye for now -- Miss absenter.
Come back real soon -- get me a pygmyish alligator.

To be continued...

I just can't play God...

I just can't play God. I'm schizophrenic plus zillions of OCDs -- severe psychiatric illnesses -- personality disorders -- I can't do even basic math -- I can't change anything -- How'd a Lilliputian like me crusade against a multiheaded Brobdingnagian dragon of poverty. I don't have audacity. I'm a weakling -- in all respects. You've to have sheer Gandhian mindedness and loftiness to take on a brutish system -- feudal mind-set. I'd like to ask you one thing: Who's created this Frankenstein's monster eh?

RJ Prateeka: A rocket scientist... :-)

I'm a peacemaker not a provocateur
I'm just a pawn -- she's a queen -- Kasparov against Deep Blue computer.

A pawn is always sacrificed -- Been a misadventurer
I'm a schooligan from a blackboard jungle -- NOT Ivy Leaguer.

I'm a chain smoker but I swear -- Am a fanatical teetotaler
I'm warped -- Was never into paper chase -- so I turned into a paper-pusher -- penpusher.

Did she goof around with paper darts when she's a bright-eyed schooler
I think she's a gung ho organizer.

She's an ace at potshotting -- She's clever -- She's a dueler
Say cheese -- Should we expect some potboiler.

No cheat sheet -- Vikram Aur Betaal -- Who's moralizer
Is this metrical -- Bonkers -- Rat tamer -- Catnapper -- Pest control officer.

I envy her -- I mean her spontaneity -- off the cuff rimester -- extemporizer
I've got a honeypot-like insectarium -- I'm an anti-insecticide campaigner.

It's jukebox experience -- makes me footloose for a while -- listening to those chart toppers
She'd have a humanoid birthday greeter.

Her charm bracelet is funky -- A navy-blue blazer would be swanky -- Wish I were a skywriter
I love her conversation stoppers -- And, her indifferentism -- She's a rebel - A saboteur.

On the air -- I'd be a sitting duck -- She'd incapacitate me with a stun gun -- It's skeet -- She's a trapshooter
My rhymes are mediocre and space-fillers.

To be continued...

Meelon hum aagaye, meelon hume jaana hai (We've come a long way, a long way we'll go)

#1. School age children running a makeshift shoemaker's shop -- on the sidewalk.

#2. A preteen boy -- starving -- in shabby clothes -- most probably an orphan -- begging.

#3. A vendor with a diabetic foot -- his lower legs about to be amputated.

#4. An autorickshaw driver -- alcoholic -- banished from his home -- he is estranged from his wife, obviously -- living on the streets.

#5. Government hospitals -- Callous doctors and administrative staff -- Red tape -- Thriving bribery culture -- Babuism.

And, so on ad infinitum.

RJ Prateeka: A Jekyll-and-Hyde personality... :-)

Is she inclined towards -- Bestsellers and Man Booker Prize Winners
Mister Stephen May says that we'd try and read newbie writers.

Get Started in Creative Writing is a good starter
She'd post her poetry on Facebook page at least -- she's such an idler and lurker.

She'd at least Blog -- Key in about shock jock life -- She'd be a pygmy chronicler
She's zillions of fans -- She's a big hitter -- Her Blog would be quite popular.

Wish we'd chitchat off the air -- That'd be an absolute coup -- Oh my God--I'm such a chancer
I'd go see some sorcerer or diviner.

I just can't hobnob with her -- I'd be considered an interloper
She's a Jekyll-and-Hyde personality -- She'd page / summon her lawyer.

She's a fierce head-hunter
She's a notorious yeti / bigfoot exterminator.

Was she sniping at me eh -- I'd take my antipsychotic thingies -- I'm such a hallucinator
Only one thing helps in such moral exigencies i.e. prayer -- I'd stop being a procrastinator.

Does she have a pearl choker
Who's her favorite trumpeter.

Does she employ a chauffeur --  I don't think so -- She's a penny-pincher.
She shouldn't take offence -- I'm mentally impaired -- I'm a joker.

Would she love to have an exotic pet -- a Komodo lizard or rattler
Who's her most revered freedom fighter.

To be continued...

RJ Prateeka: A girl from Star Trek...

Is she a moody Net surfer
Could she tell offhand -- What's our latest orbiter.

Why RED FM's Web Site is such a slacker
How much do they get -- manual laborers.

Why is it costlier -- intellectual labor
Does she buy veggies from a vendor.

Does she have a palindromic PIN of her computerized cash dispenser
Does she feel like jabbing a queue-jumper.

Could she write 'ventriloquist' in reverse order
Why does she loathe smokers.

Do gray-haired -- old-timers look nerdy in jazzy suspenders
Has she seen The Elephant Man and Band of Brothers.

Has she read Richard Bach -- Would she love to be a barnstormer
Could she reprogram a Satellite Telly Receiver.

Do RED FM people carry Star Trek-like beepers and pagers
Do they also have something for teleportation -- a transporter.

Has she read the story of The Honest Woodcutter
Has she ever been to a faith healer.

We're birds of a feather
Both of us are rhymesters.

Has she read Daddy Long-Legs by Jean Webster
Does she look up words in Merriam-Webster.

She's already assertive -- she doesn't have to read Pulling Your Own Strings by Wayne W. Dyer
As a collegianer -- Has she read subliterature / pulp literature.

To be continued...

RJ Prateeka: A BlackBerry girl...

She does code-switching like an orator
She is a workaholic -- She isn't a clock-watcher.

Is she amateur radio operator
Does she prefer text editor or word processor.

What does it say -- her car's bumper sticker
Does she have a pet kitty or mouser.

What's her favorite motion picture
What's her favorite cartoon character.

What's her phobia -- creepy-crawlies and web spinners
Does she like pace bowlers or leg spinners.

Would she love an-adrenalin-rush-kinda-job -- Would she be a pro sky diver
Did she ever get a ride in a jet fighter.

Does she love puppet theater
Who's her favorite actor.

Flicks -- Does she love sci-fi or horror
Is she a brand ambassador.

What's her favorite page-turner
Could we have Pepsi and cheeseburger -- together.

Does she have BlackBerry -- Who's her Internet Service Provider
Is she lefty or right-hander.

Is Mister Ali -- her favorite boxer
Does she trust hitch-hikers.

She's ambidextrous -- What's stopping her from being illustrator
Has she ever been a beauty pageant contester.

Would she adopt a tightrope walker
What's her favorite tear-jerker.

To be continued...

RJ Prateeka: Intergalactic traveler...

Is she a seafarer
Is she a wayfarer.

She counsels like my shrink -- she's natural -- she's Miss motivator
She's Brobdingnagian personality traits -- She's like a New Yorker -- A conjurer.

She'd start writing -- She'd be a Blogger
I'm dying to be her ghost writer.

In school -- were she a troublemaker
Could she outsmart a lie detector.

Is she intergalactic (space) traveler
Does she have an e-book reader.

She's a riddler
I'm obstinately inquisitive -- What's her pet peeve -- What's her bugbear.

How long does she take to crack a typical brain-teaser
Is she a diarist -- She'd try and add more Urdu/Hindi songs in her playlist -- something that'd turn us into tap-dancers.

Who's her favorite author
What does her car meter read -- Could she tell offhand -- What does it say -- her car's mileage indicator.

Is she a number-cruncher
Is she a good baby-sitter.

What does she think of Ethical Hackers
What's her favorite animal cracker.

Does she gift kids sparklers
Could she compute decibel level of a firecracker.

Does she like chandeliers
Does she donate twenty-five percent of her pay check to a beggar.

She's a juggler
She's a multitasker.

For sharp five minutes -- Could she be a mahout of a tusker
For just a day -- Could she be a herder.

Did she ever fiddle with a Ouija board -- Does she believe in the paranormal and ghostbusters
Is she skeptical of levitation -- Who's her astrologer.

To be continued...

Our system works...

We're your blood brothers...We stand shoulder to shoulder with you in absolute solidarity during these turbulent and testing times...I'd strongly recommend that you follow proper (judicial) channels and protocols. Our system works. I've absolute -- unwavering faith in our democratic processes. We must fight against oppression and unjustness -- For truth and righteousness -- BUT -- in a Gandhian way. The desecrators of our national flag must NEVER go unpunished. But your protests must be

nonviolent and have a strong element of law-abidingness in 'em. Never let the goons intimidate you. We've a robust and professional police force -- to protect us.

RJ Prateeka -- Flying saucer -- And, an alien spaceship...

She aspires to be an IAS officer
Someday -- she's going to be a District Collector.

She'd zip through her preliminaries
She's studious -- she'd would be unrivaled topper.

Her viva voce would be a trailblazer
She'd outwit her interviewers.

She's the spirit of a crusader
She thwarts schemers.

Shhh--actually she's an alien from Jupiter
Yep -- I believe in UFOs and extraterrestrial invaders.

Is she a horse rider
She loves ponies -- and American pit bull terriers.

She's a movie buff and die-hard weekender
My question is: Does she love Lavender?

She must've read the story of Eklavya -- the master archer
By the way, I love her theory of avatars -- It's gospel truth and something universal.

She's the rainmaker
She'd speedread her Teleprompter.

She's a good speller
Has she ever met any snake charmer.

She's going to have a Swayamvara -- She'd choose a real charmer
Trumpets--Decked out elephants like in The Elephant Festival of Kerala--A stampede of suitors.

She'd probably marry Mister Desmond Morris like scholar
Eat your heart out -- docile and lemming-like white-collar workers.

To be continued...

A rhyme about RJ Prateeka...

Prateeka is a torchbearer
Her snippety pep talks are a morale booster.

Her four hours long program is a roller-coaster
She'd twist you around her little finger.

She's like an unstoppable twister
She's brainy like a Cambridge wrangler.

Does she drive an electric car or a Jeep Wrangler
That's what I always wonder.

She's veggie -- loves lady's finger
She's blessed with green fingers.

She's a real show stopper
The only thing that gives her a fright is thundershower.

I'd never ring her up -- that'd be a blunder
She abhors people who are social climbers.

I'm a rhymer
And, I'm a daydreamer.

Wish I'd bump into her in a mall on an escalator
Or perhaps a rendezvous with her in a malfunctioning elevator.

She'd hate my impudence -- I'm mister nobody -- just a wannabe writer
Okay -- peace -- no hard feelings -- please don't call your solicitor.

Does she have a pedometer
Could she ride a scooter.

I don't have her E-mail address -- otherwise, I'd have written her a letter
She's not active on Twitter.

On her Facebook page -- she occasionally scribbles a one-liner
That's such a heartbreaker.

She goes to Emirates in Summers
But Hyderabad is homey -- she comes back in Winters.

Her voice is supernatural
She's ethereal.

To be continued...

The real war begins now...

I recently visited the Osmania General Hospital -- for the first time -- with someone. I was merely chaperoning. It's a colossal life lesson. An eye-opener. I'm still shell-shocked. Still experiencing battle fatigue. In a nutshell: I'd like to tell you that the real Independence struggle begins now. And, we've to fight on many fronts. Mahatma Gandhi Ji is never going to come back now. We've to turn ourselves into Lilliputian Gandhis. The fight with the Brits was something preliminarily. That's a mock battle. The real war begins now. We've to fight our own people -- for our most fundamental -- basic rights.

Independence Day...

For instance: There's an extremely poor PaniPuri vendor near a school. That business is obviously his sole source of income. And, he's dependants--of course--to support. The school principal / management is trying to evict him forcibly from there. Harshly intimidating him. He's under severe mental duress. He's come from a village. He goes about doing his business quietly. There's absolutely no interference to anyone. We're still struggling with the remnants of the British Empire. We'd truly celebrate Independence (Day) -- When we'd overpower the adversaries within. When this neo-Nazism is uprooted.

My past...

My past has metamorphosized into a demon. It haunts me -- tenaciously. Humiliates me. Taunts me. I've been doing penance -- but that hasn't helped exorcize it.

My conscience...

My conscience is a mulishly unforgiving and grotesque monster.

Carrot and stick...

Violation of traffic regulations: Adopting a carrot and stick approach is no-good. The reasons for lack of road safety awareness have to be studied. Public awareness has to be improved. And, stringent license issuance.

Keying-in...

My bad karma...

My bad karma has pulverized my self-esteem like vermin / woodborer.

Ek Ghazal jo mukam-mil nahi ho payi...

Qasid nay tow kiya farz apna ada
Phir kaisay ho gaya mayra khat la-pata.

Mujeh hai sar-kash hawao par shuba
Shayad koi jhoka -- unkay haatow say -- mayray khotoot kay warkh lay uda.

Sadr-e-mushaira ki shararat tow dekhiye -- dekhiye unki anokhi ada
Mayri Ghazal tow thi mukammil -- par pahlay misray par hi kah diya alwida.

Ab karay bhi tow kis say karay shikayat aur shikwa
Bhari mehfil mein un-honay kar diya mujeh ruswa.

Taweel intayzaar kay baad mila hai yeh sila
Yeh kaisi bay-rukhi hai -- ab mein kaisay karu unsay il-tay-ja

Manzil khareeb thi -- lekin mein hi karwa say bichadh gaya
Yeh kaisi taqdeer hai -- yeh kis ka hai faisla.

Doobtay ko tinkay ka sahara bhi nahi mila
Zarb lagati hai dil par pahlay phir kahti hai muskura dow zara.

Yeh unka kaisa insaaf hai bhala
Mayra naam bhi nahi layti pura -- kahti hai fala-fala.

Baatay hai unki jaisay pahliya
Kam say kam yeh tow batati ki kaun kaun hai unki sahliya.

Kya unhay sab bulatay hai kahkasha
Ya mein rakh du unka naam zufisha.

Mein tow pahlay say hi tha haira aur paraysha
Ab ek nayi aafath mein ho gaya mulaw-wis aur mub-tay-la.

Jugnu apni kismat ka kis say karay gila
Andayrow par kis ka aaj tak bas chala.

Kuch bhi kaho yeh hai ek khoobsurat sil-sila
Zidd aisi kay nahi padhti mayray woh khat -- pata nahi kya hai unka fal-safa.

Mayray sawaalow ka jawaab tow mujeh nahi mila
Lekin aaj raat aasmaan mein kahi door ek sitara toot kay gir pada.

Ab tow hai bas ek hi dua
Kaisay bhi door ho yeh mar-hala.

Nahi kisi aur ka un jaisa andaaz-e-baya
Bataiye es Ghazal ka unwaan mein rakhu kya.

Ab dar nahi ho jaye sow sow karbala
Acha bataiye kab padhaygi mayri puri ghazal o saba.

Untitled...

So-called 'Chutku-Putku' teensy-weensy ads are in fact never-ending spams -- Make me feel like as if I'm in a Nazi concentration camp -- Static is like relentless aerial bombardment -- Going to make me hearing impaired sure-fire -- It's like torture chamber whams -- But I'm obstinate like a mule -- I don't flip -- listen to the hoopla nonstop -- I'm a crank -- She's frank -- She'd brush you off point-blank -- She'd be in a think tank -- She'd always rank first in her class -- whizz-bang...

 

Keying-in...

Ban Aashiqui 2 movie...

Movies like Aashiqui 2 should be banned -- Such movies misguide our youngsters. Suicide is NOT self-sacrifice. It's the most horrendous thing that you'd do to yourself and to your loved ones. Love means fighting back with an unprecedented defiance. You just can't produce movies that propagate and promote moral eunuchism and sissyness amongst our young generation. Aashiqui 2 team has absolutely no sense of social responsibility -- their morals are debased -- their ethics are rusted. You'd come up with morale-boosting movies -- It's your moral obligation / duty to influence 'em in such a way -- that our boys turn into battle hardened soldiers -- Love NEVER means you resort to alcohol abuse and suicide -- you're making 'em week-kneed and effeminate. I'm writing this to condemn you -- you've absolutely no integrity -- you've absolutely no character. You're setting a blatantly misleading precedent -- If this is your notion of love then you people need imminent professional help -- you've got severe psychiatric illnesses. Moreover, something is incorrigibly wrong with our Central Board of Film Certification (CBFC). Did the Aashiqui 2 team bribe you people eh?

Fundamentals...

Fundamentally -- there're only two kind of people in this world: Resource-rich and resource-poor. Oppressor and victim.

A rhyme about RJ Prateeka

Prateeka is a poster girl

She makes us rock and roll.
 

She's like a tigress on the prowl

If you mess with her -- you'd be mauled.
 

She's grit -- she's superbold

For nought -- You'd be bowled.
 

She's a solar car -- she saves money on gas or petrol

If you mispronounce anything -- she'd scold.

She rolls the dice -- turns macho men into mice and charcoal
She's kinda old school.

She'd deftly tinker with her daunting and futuristic console
She loves puppies -- gives 'em sausages -- when they howl and drool.

While talking on the phone -- she'd absent-mindedly scrawl

She is crazy about funky shawls.

Her English has native speaker like drawl
She doesn't like anything foul.

She didn't go to a blackboard jungle -- but to an elite school
She gets miffed and mad if you don't play by the rules.

She loves anything that says bow-wow and woof
She detests guys who cry wolf.

She's a whistle-blower and supercool
Loves to read biographical books and scrolls.

She doesn't like pompous fools
Amongst RJs -- She's a crown jewel.

She seldom frowns
Her favorite color is probably brown.

We live in the same town
She's an egghead and I'm a clown.

Something is terribly wrong
I just can't text her -- that's why I wail and mourn.

My heart beats like a gong
When she hums or sings a song.

I'm smitten and conked
I'm singing hymns like a Buddhist monk.

She's zillions of fans -- Her Facebook page is thronged
But I write rhymes for her and break new ground.

She's strong-willed, assertive and superphenomenon
She's elegance and charisma.

Her voice is otherworldly, angelical and talisman
It's her good karma.

RJ Prateeka of 93.5 RED FM: A fearsome dragon slayer...

You've to be a kamikaze to ring her up -- on her evening radio show. It's the electric chair experience.
It's a firing squad ordeal! She's a baby-faced executioner! It's her arena -- she's the gladiator. You'd be mercilessly annihilated. She'd make you sob. She'd make you scramble. Her impromptu, spiky humor is phenomenal. Your squeaky, muted protests would be unfeelingly, ruthlessly and violently -- muffled and squelched. She's like a bird of prey -- you're a mouse -- you're cornered and defenceless. She's a Brobdingnagian -- and you're a Lilliputian -- a duel is out of the question. I'm in a clichéd / proverbial catch-22 situation -- For some inexplicable reason -- For some ungodly reason -- I can't send Text Message(s) to her -- There's some glitch -- I get some gibberish error message(s) -- And, I'm not geeky anymore to resolve or debug this predicamental bug! -- And, I'm so terror-stricken that I'd never phone her. Just listening to her bash and squash callers makes my legs wobbly! I've started listening to her show avidly, fervently -- and, er -- ahem -- reverently (chuckle!) -- and uninterruptedly! -- It's sort of an escape mechanism -- an excursion -- It works like a jab -- Otherwise, my life is so monotonous. She's a shaman! Believe me--she'd tap into the parallel universe! ;-) A phone-in agony aunt! I'm writing this in a seriocomical tone -- in a wee bit of frivolous and festive mood -- But I'd like to tell you one thing seriously i.e. She's the most intelligent shock jock I've ever 'met'! She's destined to go places! Her mind-set -- conviction -- rationality: I'm checkmated. She wins. :-) Clinicians affirm that continuous exposure to sound above eighty decibels could be harmful -- but I don't give a damn -- I love listening to her voice -- everyday for four hours at a stretch! LOL

Koi shak...

Lahu nahi samajhna esay
Kholti sheesh dowdhti hai hamari rangow mein

Hamaray sabr ko nahi samajhna hamari kamzori
Sher paaltay hai ham hamaray ghaarow mein

Mat lal-kaarow hamay...

Mayn mein tayz dhaar talwaaray rakhtay hai ham
Sar par safyadh kafan nahi -- Tiranga baandh kay utar-tay hai mai-daan-e-jung mein ham
Dharti Maa ko apnay khoon say rang day-tay hai ham -- aisay hi Holi kheltay hai ham
Mit jayega tumhara wajood -- agar ham-nay lay li shapath aur kasam

Buz-dil napun-sak kayar ho -- hamesha peet par waar kartay ho
Tum tow bali chadhanay kay bhi laykh nahi ho

Untitled...

Porus nay lal-kaara Sikander-e-Azam kay zameer ko
Khurbaan kar diya apnay laal ko -- par bar-kha-raar raka Hindusta kay way-khaar ko

Rostam nay li Sohrab ki jaa
Qalam-band hai aisay dil dah-laa-day-nay waalay wakai tareekh mein yaha-waha

Bas ek akhiri baar...

Suna dow woh awaaz bas ek akhiri baar phir mujeh
Gam nahi kay cheen dow us kay baad phir mujeh

Woh aa gayi hai -- suni nahi kya tum nay unki paazayb ki cham-cham daroga saheb
Bas ek akhiri aarzu kah du un say -- phir kar daynay apni talwaar say hamesha kay liye khamosh mujeh

Suraj ugh-nay mein ek-dow pal hai abhi -- jallad saheb
Dow rakaat akhiri Namaaz ada kar laynay dow mujeh

Rukiye abhi sheesh mat udayl liye mayray kaanow mein
Aza tow khatm honay dijiye -- Moazzan ki awaaz sunnay dijiye mujeh

Haa haa waada karta hu pahuchtay hi ettay-la duga
Aisay tow mat dekho sawaliya nazrow say mujeh

Kaat kay mayra sar -- numaish karogay tum nayzay par
Dushman tow tum thay mayray yeh pata tha -- lekin etnay kam-zarf hogay yeh maloom nahi tha mujeh

Ek awaaz ki talaash...

Unki yeh kaisi bay-rukhi hai -- yeh kaisi khamoshi hai
Dekhiye mujeh shikist mayri taqdeer phir say day rahi hai

Ek baar suni thi unki khan-kha-na-ti hasi
Tab say bas talaash usi awaaz ki hi hai

Mushairay mein shareek hu -- sab shora padh rahay hai apna apna kalaam
Bas mayri hi ghazal na-mu-kam-mil si hai

Muzaihayray mein hi gir pada apnay ghoday say
Nahi tow yakeen maaniye mayri gowdh-sawari shehzadow aur sipah-salarow si hai

Maloom nahi woh kab ayegi
Afsoos tow es baat ka hai kay unhay yeh nahi pata ki ab mayri zindagi chiraag-e-sehri si hai

Kya woh laut ayi -- kya kisi nay dekha aatay hua uran khatola
Phir hawao mein yeh shehnai si kyu goonj rahi hai

Dil par zarb pay zarb chal rahay hai -- khamoshi kay sow-sow saap das rahay hai
Kaifiyat ek dervish ki si hai

Aleef aur Noon likhna nahi aata -- phir bhi karta hu shayeri
Himaqat mat samjiye esay mayri -- bas yu samjhiye ki yeh ek mayra junoon sa hai

Bas un tak pahuch jaye mayri nazmay
Kya woh aa gayi bazm mein -- chilman kay peechay kuch hal-chal si hui hai

Kyu dhoondh-ta hu mein woh awaaz ko...

Jaisay garma ki dopahar hai -- koi maidaan hai -- har taraf haryaali hai -- aur wahi kahi door koi gadariya ki laathi kay gungh-ru bajh rahay ho -- woh awaaz kuch kuch aisi thi --

Ek pakeezagi thi -- ek hijaab tha -- kisi bay-gunah kay bay-ekh-ti-yaar bahtay aasu thay

Aisa laga jaisay kisi nay saleeb pay say utaar diya

Jaisay sang-saar rok diya gaya -- aur kisi nay mashk udayl di

Jaisay kisi ek dervish ki dua thi

Jaisay koi parinda riha kar diya gaya ho

Jaisay path-jadh mein aangan mein pattay bay-tar-teeb bikhray paday ho -- aur un mein hi kahi kisi ki khoyi hui chandi ki paazayb ki ek jodh padi mil gayi ho

Jaisay kisi masoom ki atoot kasam

Jaisay kisi nanhay bach-chay nay dekha pahli dafa aasmaan par Qous-O-Qazah kay rang

Sakhi Saheli

Elementarily: It's counseling. It's a powwow. Basic -- grass-roots problem(s) resolution. Program anchorwomen are seasoned conversationalists. They talk about literally everything: Home economics, computer literacy and so on ad infinitum. It's a radio phone-in Panchayat. They're virtually like advice columnists. Their approach isn't ivory-towered. They're NOT adrenalized and juvenile shock jocks who play raunchy music. These people are thorough professionals -- serious-minded -- ethical -- rational -- well-informed and well-respected. I'm writing this to acknowledge 'em. I've tremendous respect for 'em.

Jo parwaaz na kar saka...

Es shor mein kaisay pahchan pauga mein aap ki awaaz
Ab bay-wafai karnay lagi hai mujh say mayri yaad-dasht

Kahnay ko tow aap say bahut kuch hai lekin
Sahi waqt par daga day jaatay hai alfaaz

Mayri zindagi tow hai ab ek rayt-ki-ghadi
Milaygi aap tow bata duga ek hi saas mein apnay saaray raaz

Dekhi kabhi aap nay -- kisi safaydh kabotar kay bach-chay ki pahli parwaaz
Pankh phadh-phadha-tay karna uska -- woh buzurgh ki kaali gumbaz ka tu-waaf

Ghosla banatay chidiya kay joday ki masar-rat aur shor-o-gul
Mohabbat ka tinka tinka jama kar kay hi kartay hai -- ek nayi zindagi ka aa-gaaz

Maa nay dua di thi ki rahna tum hamesha sarfaraz
Shayad isiliye ab bhi log kartay hai jhuk jhuk kay salaam aur aadaab

Mein kya jaanu parwaaz kya hoti hai -- kya hoti hai uchi udaan
Udh-nay ki jab umr aayi tabhi katar diya par bay-raham sayad

 

Kisi ka laadla chala gaya...

Kata daytay hai woh sar hamaray liye
Ujadh jaatay hai unkay ghar hamaray liye

Bina baap kay bilakhtay hai bachchay
Unkay boodhay Maa Baap ki aakhow say hai khoon kay aasu tapaktay

Nahi hamara koi un say rishta
Lekin phir bhi chita par jal jaatay hai unkay shav hamaray liye

Ham saal mein ek -- dow baar bajatay hai geet aur jalatay hai patakhay
Esi tarah ham apna farz nibhatay aur unka ahsaan chukaatay

Ab unkay ghar phir kabhi nahi hogi Holi ya Diwali
Hamay kya hai -- ham tow har roz Eid manatay

Hamari aakhow mein aata nahi ek bhi aasu
Aur unkay pariwaar kay logow kay aasu sookh nahi paatay

Dayti hai sarkar kuch paisay aur tamgay -- akhbaar mein chaphti hai tasveer
Bas ham ho jaatay hai subok-dosh -- unhay jald bhool jaatay

Apnay laadlay ko tow fouj mein nahi bharti karatay
Dusray kay sapoot ki shahadat ka afsoos bhi nahi kartay

Kya tumhara zameer lal-kaarta nahi tumeh
Kya watan pukaarta nahi tumeh

Nayi nawayli dulhan ki maang say sirf sindhoor nahi gaya
Uski aankh say aasha ka sitara chala gaya

Ab laut kay kabhi nahi ayega maa ka laadla
Tumeh kya hai tumnay tow apnay chanda kay ujwal bhavish kay liye usay videsh bhayj diya

Budhay baap ka sahara chala gaya
Gowdh mein jisay khilaya tha -- khandow par jisay bithaya tha -- woh dulara chala gaya

Tum tow shahadat ka bhi sauda kartay ho
Taabut pay bhi munafa kamatay ho

Fifty-two seconds...

A formal rendition of the national anthem takes fifty-two seconds.

Kaha hai aap

Kaha hai aap
Sun-nay aap ki awaaz mein hu bay-taab

Karta hu baysabri say intayzaar har shab
Kya es gair-haziri ka kar sakta hu mein aap say jawaab talab

Aap ki awaaz mein hai ek hijaab
Jaisay khwaab mein ayi ho ek jal-pari pahnay nakhaab

RJ Prateeka kay liye ek kavita

Hai unka naam Prateeka
Kar rahi hai unkay liye nayi manzilay pratikhsha

Kar laygi safal woh har parishka
Sab ko un say hai badi badi asha

Nahi hai ab koi samisiya
Milay hai unhay uchh koti kay sanskaar aur shiksha

Mujeh hai badi jigyaasa
Kabhi hai unka aatm-vishwaas dagmagata

Kya kahti hai unsay unki antar-aatma
Boltay hai unkay kanth say Siddhartha aur Vidhata

Woh hai ek usha -- ek sujata
Unki baatow mein hai badi saralta

Koi dakiya nahi aata
Mayray patr un tak koi nahi pahuchaata

Kaisi ajeeb hai yeh asamarthata
Kyu hai aisi nirbalata

Mujeh unkay prati hai badi shraddha
Unkay vyaktitv mein hai thodi si chalchalta -- thodi si vinamrata

Mujh mein nahi koi yogyata
Nahi tow karta mein unsay mitrata

Paani hai abhi unhay aur safalta
Athak parishram ki hi jwala say kathinayow ka moum pighalta

Jab karta tha mein hawao say baatay

Ek waqt tha hawao say karta tha baatay
Ab ek umr hai kay chalta hu girtay -- ladh-khada-tay

Hua karti thi roz un say mula-qa-tay
Ab mayri parchai bhi mujeh dekh dewaar phalaagay

Mayri kagaz ki kashti jo doob gayi

Kyu mayri awaaz tum tak nahi pahuchti
Kisi aur ki vani mein nahi milti woh tripti

Dhoondhu tumeh kis shehar -- kis gao -- kis basti
Mujh mein tow nahi koi daiviy shakti

Doob jaya karti thi mayri kagaz-ki-kashti
Mashkh khali ho chuki hoti thi jab mujh tak pahuchta tha bhisti

Nahi mayri koi aukhaat -- koi hasti
Duniya mujh par hai taanay kasti

Mili thi tum khoojh-nay kay baad kai shatabdi
Pata nahi kaha ho gayi gum phir -- kyu aa gayi aisi paristhiti

Agar zindagi saath day tow...

RJ Prateeka of 93.5 Red FM

Phoning RJ Prateeka is like going under the knife. And, she's an unmerciful -- razor-sharp scalpel. And, she won't give you anesthesia! She's cold-blooded. And, it's a cinch for her to monopolize the entire conversation. She'd zap you! She'd nuke you! She'd turn even the most suave man into a mousy little thing -- in a nanosecond. She slays your spunk! Your mettle is blitzed in a microsecond! You're obliterated. I'm a weak-kneed person -- Just listening to her radio phone-in program makes me absolutely petrified -- I look like a holocaust survivor while listening to her program. -- I swear she's the reincarnation of the intrepid Alexander Selkirk -- She must've survived a shipwreck -- got stranded on an island swarming with man-eaters and tribe of cannibals -- bloodthirsty mongrels and hyenas -- She came out of all this unscathed! -- She's an avant-garde spellbinder -- Her sense of humor is wacky -- lethal -- She'd slaughter you -- and you can't even bleat. -- I'd ring her up someday -- if I opt for assisted suicide -- Nevertheless, she makes me laugh. Her voice has this life-giving element of a demigoddess. She's an awe-inspiring skill to conjure up poems -- God bless her.

Agar zindagi saath day tow...

Thodi si siyahi -- ek kalam -- kuch kagaz chahiye bas
Ek naya inquilaab likh duga

Agar zindagi saath day tow
Ek kranti-kari kitaab likh duga

Unkow ruswa karnay ka darr tow hai lekin phir bhi
Apni kavita mein unka naam likh duga

Ek-ad shayr ki tow baat hi kya hai
Mein tow apna pura divan unkay naam likh duga

Siyahi nahi hai tow koi baat nahi
Apnay khoon say watan kay shaheedow ka naam likh duga

Agar waada karti ho ki padhogi mayri kitaab
Tow mein aw-wal safay par hi kahani ka anjaam likh duga

Daulat tow nahi hai mayray paas
Bas wasiyat mein apni purani kitaabay tumharay naam likh duga

Jo awaaz lal-kaarti hai mayray zameer ko
Us kay peechay chipay chehray ka naam likh duga

Khaoff-zada karnay ki koshish mat karo mujeh
Khud apni maut ka mein farmaan likh duga

Mayri wafa-daari par shubha na karo
Bachi-kuchi saasay bhi watan kay naam likh duga

Maana kay ek naya tarana har-giz nahi bana sakta hu
Lekin desh waasiyow kay liye apnay khoon say ek aakhiri payaam likh duga

Etna zarf hai ki kaatil ko apna khoon mwaaf karuga zuroor
Uski talwaar par apni kalam say kisi gum-naam kay sar ilzaam likh duga

Rukiye abhi apni kalam ki nok mat todhiye munsif saheb
Esi kalam say mein aap kay liye lambi hayaat ki dua-e likh duga

Tum par na aanay paaye koi harf -- tum ho jaana ba-izzat bari

Iqbaaliye baayan mein mein saaray jurm apnay sar likh duga

Mat ladho aap-pas mein bach-chow tum
Mayra pushtaini makaan bhi tumharay naam likh duga