Memoirs in verse

Writing poems is a feat -- rhyming is tricky indeed
Can't churn out masterpieces like John Keats.

I'm bleary-eyed and functional illiterate
Can't write libretto like Vikram Seth.

Writing poetry befits intellectual heavyweights
I'm schizoid and below average.

I'm pariah and meek
Everyone falsely thinks I'm an alpha geek.

I was in Abu Dhabi for long
Love Emiratis and their songs.

In the Nineteen Nineties -- BBSes were my world
There I met my Little Laura, a Bedouin girl.

She's pretty, vulnerable, bewitching but headstrong
It's like a breathtaking spring dawn -- I was whirly, awestruck and spellbound.

My brother-in-law was my chief
He didn't let me feign ill and take sick leave.

Tall, dark-complexioned Arab girls in black burka giggled and ogled
Getting a dinner date with a fun-loving, wonder girl was a cinch and piece of cake.

I was young, charming and hulky
Lady-killing was my forte.

I've to keep this PG-13 compliant
I can't write about my romantic escapdes.

Flying was my passion
My instructor Khaled Masood Bhatt turned out to be a mean-spirited, short-tempered old-timer.

I don't want to sound boastful -- but horse riding was and is really my obsession
I rode my polo pony like a crown prince -- girls blinked in disbelief, clapped in admiration and gasped in sheer amazement.

Saleem Mahmood Farooqui was my mentor and guru
He taught me the ABCs of all things I didn't know.

Ausaf saheb was God-fearing, good-humoured, charismatic and poetic
Nudged me gently to pray and write computer programs.

Rana Ranjit Saha was so evil -- like one-eyed devil
He's the Ravana in my life -- corrupt, uncivil, slicker and scheming sadist.

James Prabhakar was my first computer teacher -- demystified micro, mini and mainframes
Explained the nitty-gritty in great detail -- He's and still is so awe-inspiring and an avid intellectualist.