Monday, March 4, 2019

Reprint: Happy Maha Shivaratri / Shivaratri

Friday, February 24, 2017

An open letter to all my Radio FM shock jocks / comrades:

Happy Maha Shivaratri / Shivaratri -- my favorite Radio FM shock jocks: I'm a staunch pro–life activist. I celebrate Maha Shivaratri / Shivaratri with my Radio FM comrades by reaffirming my vows to RESPECT ALL LIVING CREATURES, that also, of course means Plant Life. Just like my Jain comrades. Happy Maha Shivaratri / Shivaratri -- once again, comrades. Particularly: Today, I strictly observe nonviolence toward ALL living creatures. I sincerely try not to trample even creepers (Plants such as ivy), wild mushrooms and so–called insignificant weeds. I also believe for some unbeknownst reason that it's auspicious to keep snails EVEN in a teensy–weensy aquarium as kids' exotic -- aquatic chaperone / roommates. Snails are talismanic and harbingers of sphinxlike spunk to overcome any debilitating jinxes -- thwart every masquerading evil / evil in all its sinister, slick and salamander-like slimy manifestations / mutations.

Let's start afresh. No dismissive and arrogant shrug. No brush-off either with your characteristic poker–faced look -- that mock-serious glint in your eyes promptly followed by a devilish grin.

Bye for now.

Sincerely:

The Whirling Dervish

Yep, it's me: Your Hunchbacked Mentor who purportedly walks with a slight stagger -- It's a misnomer but I love it albeit reluctantly and coyly. You'd call me anything: Folk hero, Yeti, Bigfoot, Mister Lilliputian or Mister Brobdingnagian from The island of Lilliput or Our Heroicomical Alexander Selkirk or Captain Kirk.

Yep, I believe with irrevocable die–hardism in the sailors' maxim that The Captain Goes Down With The Ship BUT The Lighthouse Keepers are my Comrades: Watch out for choppy waters -- You ain't getting shipwrecked -- STOP fretting -- Mister Archie! By the way, who's on board with you now: Miss Betty or Miss Veronica? Still double–crossing 'em Mister lady–killer eh? Ferret! Bon voyage: Sinbad. See you REAL SOON. Don't forget to bring some unearthly souvenirs -- And, one more thing: We got your Message In A Bottle on time. Your lovelorn and dumbstruck Mermaids are perfect and swift couriers! Shoo! Let the chap go: STOP ogling and gawking! It's time to go bye-bye, darlings: It's way past your and his -- our Jonathan Swift's bedtime!

Nope. No grudge match today kiddos -- It's Maha Shivaratri / Shivaratri.

Postscript: In spite of all their feigned docility -- our ubiquitous domestic Lizzie Lizards devour Snails!

Posted by Maqsood Qureshi at 2:05 PM

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