Is your marriage predestined? Marriage is one of the things that Allah has decreed. The person whom you will marry is known to Allah: He knows who he is, when he was born, where and when he will die, how he will be towards you, and other details. All of that is known to Allah and He has written it in al-Lawh al-Mahfuz (the Book of Decrees), and it will inevitably come to pass as Allah has decreed. If Allah has decreed that you will marry one person, but you choose someone else, then no matter how long it takes, you will marry that person. But your marriage to someone else is also decreed, because there is nothing that is not decreed by Allah. It may be decreed for a woman to marry So and So the son of So and So, and he comes to propose marriage but she refuses him, and marries someone else, then he (the second man) dies or divorces her, then she accepts the first one. All of that is decreed, and it is decreed for her to marry So and So the son of So and So after initially refusing him and after some experience or trials etc. It may be decreed for a woman that a righteous man will propose marriage to her, but she will refuse him and he will never come back to her, and she will marry and live with someone else who is more or less righteous, according to what Allah has decreed. Because man does not know what is decreed for him, what he must do is to adhere to Shari`ah and abide by its commands and prohibitions, and to seek the help of Allah and pray to Him for guidance (istikharah ) concerning all his affairs, whilst implementing the means, one of the most important of which is consulting sincere people who have relevant experience. If a righteous man proposes marriage to a woman, she should pray to Allah for guidance (istikharah) and agree to marry him. If things then go smoothly, this is an indication that what is good for her is to marry him. In conclusion, man should study the Shari`ah of Allah and follow the commands of Allah even if he feels reluctant, and avoid what Allah has forbidden even if he is attached to it. All goodness is to be found in obeying Shari`ah. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Jihad(fighting in Allah’s Cause) is ordained for you (Muslims) though you dislike it, and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know” [al-Baqarah 2:216] He should not look at al-qadar as an excuse to ignore commands and do forbidden things, rather he should look at it in a way that will make him content with whatever painful experiences happen to him. And Allah knows best.