Conversations with an imaginary girlfriend: Mac-y goes berserk about aliens..... :-) Sugar is completely nonplussed! :-)

Hello! Space station calling Earth!

This is Captain Kirk speaking....

Oh Star Trek....not again! 

LOL ROFL

LOL ROFL 

Aliens abducted you again right Mac-y?

Yeah..how did you know?

What did they do with you this time Mac-y?

They asked me questions.....

Questions?

Yeah

Like what

About Universe

Are they superior to us?

Yeah light-years ahead...

You watching alien movies lately Mac-y?

Nope. Nope.

Yep. Yep.

So how does it feel?

It feels surreal.....

You believe in aliens Mac-y?

I don't disbelieve either..

Hmm.....

You doing drugs again Mac-y?

What do you mean by again?

You know I don't do drugs....

Why're you hallucinating then?

I'm NOT hallucinating...

There're no aliens Mac-y...

Nobody abducted you....

Okay tell me one thing..

Yeah

Why did they choose you....

Because I'm a perfect human prototype....

Did you say human prototype...?

Yeah....

You skipping your schizo meds Mac-y?

No I'm not....

Why're we talking about aliens?

You started it...

Go find an alien girlfriend...

Bye.....

Come on....

No aliens...okay?

Okay.

I was kidding with you..

No you weren't...

You're such a goof!

I was goofing around with you....that's all...

You watched a lot of Star Trek when you're a kid, right?

Yeah, I did...

Hmm.

You're not Alexander Selkirk anymore..now you're James T. Kirk?

His real name is William Shatner

Oh my God!

OMG!

LOL 

What's wrong?

I'm sorry Mac-y I can't marry you...

Why not?

Duh! I can't live with someone who believes in aliens...alien abductions..and what not....

How'd that jeopardize our marriage...?

I dunno Mac-y....

I'm sorry....

You know I love you...so much....

Yeah, I know...and I love you too.....very much...

Fine..I won't talk about aliens anymore..I'm sorry...

It's okay...you can talk about 'em....it's alright....

I'm sorry too.....

You don't have to apologize......

I know you're supersmart Mac-y....but you give me a fright sometimes....

Hmm.....

To be continued......

Reprint: A fictitious brattish Arabian Princess and her bedouin aide-de-camp

SUNDAY, APRIL 23, 2017

Dhow ready for you missui

Same familiar voice of rugged hunchbacked Bedouin

My father's most trusted lieutenant

A crescent sword dangling by his side

a gust of wind -- that seems to bother him somehow

The audacity of his Samurai-like gait

A mare whimpers and he pats in his characteristic dismissive gesture

Subduedly flamboyant -- debonair -- that smirk on his face --

A chaps -- magenta or something -- it's charcoal-ish now

A war trophy -- No head hunting anymore -- show any tribes

He told me once with a shrug nonchalant curse-like tone -- oh those spurs -- not even for menace makers

Duel -- Jostle -- Do I look that intimidating to you eh -- Missui -- what's your name before you went to ....

The unanimous chosen leader of warrior race

A spine-chilling momentary glint in his pupil

He ain't hunchbacked -- it's his way of obeisance

His loyalty rests with my father --

Mills and Boons -- That's what he thinks of me -- I guess

Discreet -- hoarse -- monosyllables -- like giving them marching orders

Doesn't even snooze -- siesta -- he trots to souk

Hubble-bubble occasionally -- otherwise, Come To The Marlboro Country

It's real sultry -- reschedule your -- next summer break maybe

Yes, yes he's so copycatish and fake -- gotta go now. Bye.

Hey, Mister Cowboy -- Where's my Black tea huh?

Damn -- did he hear that or what -- eavesdropping on me.

Wait, let my grandfather come.

Hey, mister stone deaf -- don't we pay you slave.

POSTED BY MAQSOOD QURESHI AT 9:58 PM 

Conversations with an imaginary girlfriend: Mac-y phones Sugar..... :-)

Eureka!

What did you find Mac-y?

Nothing!

Moron!

LOL ROFL

LOL ROFL 

Hey presto! The rabbit's completely disappeared!

I always knew that...

Knew what...?

That you're a sorcerer!

OMG

yeah OMG!

You're doing Black Magic to make me fall in love with you!

Oh God -- Is that working?

!@#%^!@%#&!@%#&!@^%#!%#%^

<EXPLETIVES DELETED!>

hehehehehhehehe

STOP laughing!

Hyena!

Grrrrrrrrrr!

Yeah, see!

Animal! 

Sugar!

Yeah, moron!

I'm getting married!

Oh-oh, really?

Yeah!

LIAR!

Who'll marry you idiot?

Oh there's a girl...and she's very pretty!

Seriously?

Yeah

What's her name?

Lolita

oh yeah and you're her sugar daddy?

yeah!

LOL ROFL 

Mac-y

Yeah Sugar

You can't lie to me!

Yeah I know...

Lame..pathetic attempt...

oh yeah...

Moron

Accept it....

Who do you think you're....?

Oh I'm a GENIUS!

yeah?

Yep!

Mac-y

Yeah Sugar

Tell me about your most favorite fantasy....

Oh it's to take you on a flying date......in a rented Cessna!

Not your own?

No..

Why not...

I'm trying to be practical and realistic..

LOL ROFL

LOL ROFL

Dirt-poor you Mac-y....just my luck!

You wanted a rich and flamboyant boyfriend?

No. No.

Then?

Someone like you.

Someone like me?

Yeah.

You sure?

Yeah.

Okay. 

To be continued.........

Conversations with an imaginary girlfriend: Sugar rings Mac-y again! :-)

Tring! Tring!

Hello!

Is that you, Sugar?

No. My doppelganger! 

Duh!

You're so paranoid, Mac-y!

Anyways, what're you doing Mister foppish?

I'm not foppish! 

Yes, you are.

Lothario!

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are.

Modern-day Lothario!

I was looking up hagiography!

What's that?

Look it up.

!@#!#!$@#$@#$@#@#@$

<Expletives DELETED>

What did I do?

Nothing.

Sugar profanity is bad!

I know!

Bye.

Where to?

I'm a busy girl.

I love you so much, Sugar!

Whatever!

Mac-y

Yeah, Sugar

Tell me about a perfect relationship.

Oh it's very simple....

It's like a seesaw!

Hmm.

Dual-control(s)

Hmm.

To be continued......

I am not an animal! I am a human being! I am a man!

 

Conversations with an imaginary girlfriend: Sugar phones Mac-y..... :-)

You don't write to me Sugar?

Yeah, I don't want to.....

Give up -- find someone else.....

Okay!

See you're just a skirt-chaser -- That's loyalty check! 

Oh, drat! 

Buh-bye, lady-killer!

Come on!

You failed miserably.

Sugar?

Yeah Mac-y!

There's no such word....

You sure you checked in the 7 dictionaries or so you have? Your Prof. Kev Nair gave you? hehehehehehe

hehehehhehe Yeah I did Sugar! 

Moron!

I love you to bits, Sugar!

Whatever!

Write to me!

Nope!

Sugar

Yeah

I found something

Like what

Loyalty Islands

Where're those

Dunno... wait a sec...I'm reading about 'em

Whatever...don't bore me Mac-y...go home..get some sleep...forget about me....

Marry me, Sugar! 

In your dreams, Moron!

Napoleon Bonaparte

OMG Mac-y..what about him?

Nothing.

Come on tell me Mac-y

Nothing...just crossed my mind...

Weirdo!

Now you think you're Napoleon?

No. No.

You've got a Messiah Complex, Mac-y!

No. No.

Yeah! Yeah!

You love history and historical fiction and you're a futurist in the same breath?

Yeah!

See you're a weirdo! 

You're a deviant schizophrenic....

Fireflies! 

Daylight hours?

No. I'm just thinking about 'em.

Can I ask you one thing, Mac-y?

Yeah, shoot!

Why do you love 'em so much?

Fireflies?

Duh, yeah!

Fireflies are a sign of hope.

Hope?

Glimmer of hope....

You hope that I'll marry you someday, Mac-y?

Yeah.....cross my heart and hope to die!

LOL ROFL wordsmith!

You know what's a pentagram....?

Oh that's magic stuff, Sugar!

Hmm.

Mac-y?

Yeah, Sugar?

Ring off, now.

Five mins. please!

Okay..convince me to marry you in 5 minutes....or else I'll never call you again!

Your time starts now!

That's so unfair, Sugar!

Mac-y

Yeah, Sugar?

Why do you love leaves so much?

Oh, leaves?

Yeah, duh!

A leaf is a sign of hope...evolution...growth...prosperity..... life itself..... I dunno, I need more time to answer that...I can't answer that so impromptu... 

Fine! Mister Intellectual!

hehehehhehehe

Fix your teeth!

I won't....

!@#@$@#$@#@#$@#$

<Expletives DELETED>

LOL ROFL

To be Continued......